obfuscation.askewed

New Blog Address

2006-08-28T19:19:00.000-05:00

Please browse over to my new blog address:

http://ob-skew.blogspot.com

Thanks and update your links.

Elwa River Trail

2006-08-22T23:01:00.000-05:00

Camera Replaced. Memory Card Still Full

Leaving Seattle

First Meal: Day 1

Elkhead: Day 1

History of the Confederate Army

2006-08-14T23:53:00.000-05:00

History Shots

requiem for a camera

2006-07-28T12:01:00.000-05:00

my camera is dead. it does not like fridged back-woods river crossings. RIP

Remodeling Rem

2006-06-27T21:05:00.000-05:00

BBQ Party

2006-06-25T14:04:00.000-05:00

Metro, ACT & 5th

2006-06-18T15:43:00.000-05:00

Walk in the Park

2006-06-11T22:46:00.000-05:00

Discovery Park, at the tip of Magnolia, Seattle, Washington, is land which was set aside from the now-defunct Fort Lawton. The buildings remain as testimonies to the institution once gracing this majestic site.

Discovery Park overlooking Puget Sound

Luna-Dog of the Plains

The Gymnasium

The Civil Employees Building

The old houses of the Fort Command, I assume

A wooden trail

Vertical Power Center

2006-06-10T23:48:00.000-05:00

Work

2006-06-06T15:54:00.000-05:00

Signs

2006-05-31T20:37:00.000-05:00

New Party Room at House

2006-05-30T19:40:00.000-05:00

Wooten Productions Presents...

This room was filled with the landlord's junk

Untitled

2006-05-27T00:52:00.000-05:00

Camping

2006-05-22T23:39:00.000-05:00

Untitled

2006-05-08T23:36:00.000-05:00

May Day

2006-05-02T01:11:00.000-05:00

Untitled

2006-05-01T01:17:00.000-05:00

The Walk Home

2006-04-21T00:08:00.000-05:00

Le Corbusier would be proud
Seattle Academy - Miller|Hull Partnership
St. Ignatus Chapel - Steven Holl

Window Washer: Elevation 320 Feet

2006-04-17T14:43:00.000-05:00

Neighborhood: Ballard

2006-04-15T17:55:00.000-05:00

Triangle Intersection: Our [a]typical street grid
Old Town Ballard: Home to The Tractor Tavern and Hattie's Hat
Utility Structure at Ballard Skate Park

Seattle Public Library: Ballard Branch
Winner: 2006 National AIA Honor Award
Architect: Bohlin Cywinski Jackson

Downtown Views

2006-04-14T15:31:00.000-05:00

Looking South: SODO and Beacon Hill
Left: I-5, Right: Condemned, but used, Alaskan Way Viaduct
Open Pit: City Hall Park
Looking North: Downtown to Queen Anne Hill

House Boats on Lake Union

2006-04-14T00:43:00.000-05:00

Library Upgrades

2006-04-13T13:41:00.000-05:00

In April and May, The Seattle Public Library will upgrade the finish of the wood floor on Level 3 of the Central Library, which will result in the temporary relocation of some public services. The water-based finish on the Level 3 floor has not worn well and will be replaced with a similarly colored oil-based finish.

Seattle City Hall

2006-04-11T23:30:00.000-05:00

Seattle Public Library

2006-04-11T15:49:00.000-05:00

In the Woods

2006-04-09T17:23:00.000-05:00

Luna: The Amazing Asthma-Dog

2006-04-08T19:12:00.000-05:00

This is the dog I live with in Seattle, along with 3 other roommates.

Party

2006-02-12T23:38:00.000-06:00

BobGeiger.com

2006-02-01T00:35:00.000-06:00

BobGeiger.com

Here's a great blog I found!
Warning: Extremely liberal opinions expressed.

Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely

2006-01-20T21:45:00.000-06:00

In 1966, United States Senator J. William Fulbright (D-Arkansas) wrote a book entitled The Arrogance of Power, in which he attacked the justification of the Vietnam War, Congress's failure to set limits on it, and impulses which gave rise to it. The following quote from that work seems very fitting given our present situations:

On American Foreign Policy:

Throughout our history two strands have coexisted uneasily; a dominant strand of democratic humanism and a lesser but durable strand of intolerant Puritanism. There has been a tendency through the years for reason and moderation to prevail as long as things are going tolerably well or as long as our problems seem clear and finite and manageable. But... when some event or leader of opinion has aroused the people to a state of high emotion, our puritan spirit has tended to break through, leading us to look at the world through the distorting prism of a harsh and angry moralism.

On intervening in other nations affairs:

Power tends to confuse itself with virtue and a great nation is particularly susceptible to the idea that its power is a sign of God's favor, conferring upon it a special responsibility for other nations — to make them richer and happier and wiser, to remake them, that is, in its own shining image. Power confuses itself with virtue and tends also to take itself for omnipotence. Once imbued with the idea of a mission, a great nation easily assumes that it has the means as well as the duty to do God's work.

sam_iv

2006-01-09T20:30:00.000-06:00

The partners at work told a funny story today:

They were at King Fish Cafe (a popular Southern restaurant in Seattle) and were talking about the proliferation of the blogosphere. To test their theory, they asked the waitress this question: "Do you have a blog?" The waitress responded, "No, but we do have a Cabernet."

2006-01-08T14:45:00.000-06:00

As shocked as you may be to find a NEW post on this site, indeed, you have come and I am glad. They say the number one rule of blogging is to always post SOMETHING with a certain amount of frequency. That way, even if it is not very monumental, there will be a following created. Even small musings can over time create an overall impression. I guess it's like the architecture maxim, "The only BAD drawing is the drawing you DON'T DO!" (Thanks Tim De for hammering that one in. By the way, now he's the department head. I guess his blattent womanizing will never get him fired now.) So the point is, I have probably lost some following in these dark, rainy months of winter. If so, please come back. Trinity's demand, "I think it's time for an update," has finally been fullfilled.

NOVEMBER

Let's see: In the month of November, I attended my aunt's funeral in the great city of Wynne, AR. She unfortunetly passed away due to cancer. The occassion was sad, but it was good to see almost the entirety of the two sides of the family together. They had never really met one another before. If you think I'm a storyteller, just imagine twenty McGuire's in one room!!! I also missed the company Christmas party due to going home. My parents then came to Seattle for Thanksgiving and we saw some sights. The downside to their coming was the enourmous magnimity of chain restaurant eating I had to endure. Up to that point, I could safely say that I had not eaten in one chain restaurant (especially Starbucks) inside the city limits of Seattle. [Editor's Note: I did not realize both Bucca de Peppo and McCormick & Schmits were nationally owned until afterwards.) Seattle is a city exploding with local flavor and ethic cuisines from around the world. Two of the worst places were:

1. Il Forniao (A pathetic exuse for "authentic" Italian food. The portions were so small it was an insult. Located in Pacific Place, the big mall downtown.)
2. Gordan Biersch (A "brewpub." The suburban friendly menu and large comfortable tables were an all too certain sign. Also located in Pacific Place.)

In regards to the later, I had suggested a great local brewpub in West Seattle. To this, my father responded, "That's not over that bridge is it? I refuse to cross that bridge at this time of night!" I'm as confused as you are about the logic of that statement. Because of it, though, we were required to eat somwhere without crossing any body of water, which is very hard not to do in Seattle. That basically limited us to the CDB.

DECEMBER

This month was occupied far to long by more family gathering. Ugh! I am so glad to have the New Year here. I went home to Little Rock and had a week stay there. I got to see Ryan, Candi and Mandy while I was there. I was supposed to see Clint, but it didn't work out. Also, Jordan and Gretta were passing through LR on the day I left, so I just missed them. On New Year's Eve, in keeping with tradition, I did nothing fun like drinking and partying. I have pretty much given up on doing anything fun on January 1. This is now set in stone seeing as how I will have to sing in the choir for a New Year's Eve concert for the rest of my Seattle days. This one was good, though. We ushered in the Year of Mozart (its 250 years since he was born) with a grand concert highlighting pieces from the composer's life. We began with the first Kyrie he had written at age 9 and ended with Dixit Dominus, the requiem he wrote right before he died.

JANUARY

Or what happened so far. Amy has decided to move out of our house, possibly to re-settle in Montana with her boyfriend. So anyone who would like to come out to Seattle by February 1 and start living in the greatest city on earth, there is a room available for cheap rent.

I have been keeping busy as well seeing as many movies as possble. Seattle has such an amazing theater circuit. I have seen, and recommend:

Capote
Good Night and Good Luck
The Squid and the Whale
The Passenger (1970s re-release w/ Jack Nickelson)
Walk the Line
Brokeback Mountain

I do NOT recommend:
Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic

OK, I will try to be more deligent about writing, but these dark, rainy months we have in Seattle can be a little depressing. But, I will try.

Two Shits and a Song

2005-11-13T22:34:00.000-06:00

Saturday Night / Sunday Morning, 3:30 AM

I had generously let Lucy, the "family dog," sleep with me. She had been unusually behaved and actually went to sleep with me on my bed. Usually she can't stand its extreme height and prefers the floor. Even then, she usually roams for up to an hour before finally settling down. But this time, she had been great and gone right to sleep with me without fuss. This was, of course, to change. At 3:30, she woke me by jumping off the bed and roaming for approximately five minutes. I was getting ready to let her out when I heard an as yet, but soon to be confirmed, unidentified sound. When I finally gained my senses and got up to let her go downstairs, I was met at the foot of my bedroom door by an enormous pile of dog shit accompanied in equal parts by a large spot of urine. Well, let me tell you, that dog did not have a pleasant evening once I got wind of her activities. She was summarily "punished" and was communicated to in no uncertain terms that this behavior would not be excepted. I felt bad for Lucy, but of course, it is a shame that as old as she is now, she has not been trained already on this subject of indoor defication.

Sunday, 10:00 AM, Cathedral of St. James

As the church celebrated their centennial (the cornerstone for the church was laid on November 9, 1905), I sang at my first Mass as the newest member of the Cathedral Choir. I called the director last week and proclaimed, "I'm interested in joining your choir, but I get the feeling that's a hard thing to do." He told me that it depended on my choral experience and later had his secretary interview me on my qualifications. The director then invited me to the choir rehersal this week, where I was "monitored" by him and the Tenor section leader. After practice, they said my site-reading was great and they would love to have me join. The director added, "You are right, this is a hard choir to get into. I've turned down 40 people so far this year. I don't have a spot for you, the choir is already too big, but I'm letting you in anyway." I feel very fortunate and look forward to being in a choir again. Kathy and her friend Angela were kind enough to come today to hear me sing. I enjoyed their interest and was glad they could come.

Eve of the Great Collapse: The Devil Incarnate No More (and related Rantings)?

Leading newspapers and magazines are now speculating on the eventual retirement of Carl Rove as Bush's right-hand man (or is it left, to evoke the Latin sinistra). They say there are two very likely senarios which could see the end of his puppet-mastering as soon as next year. One senerio would be that Special Prosecuter Fitzgerald hands him an indictment or charges of purgury in the CIA Leak Investigation over Valarie Plame. If this happens, Rove's resignation would be almost certain and swift. The second senerio deals not only with the fact that insiders say Rove is growing tired and his family wearysome, but also that there is a general perseption among the leaders of the Republican Party that the entire Bush Adminstration needs a change of top leadership to turn its current direction around and combat low poll numbers. That's right, Rove may not be the only Bushhead to be sent packing. Time Magazine writes:

If [Rove] leaves, he will not be alone. Several well-wired Administration officials predict that within a year, the President will have a new chief of staff and press secretary, probably a new Treasury Secretary and maybe a new Defense Secretary.

That would be GREAT news. It would be so great to get rid of butt-boy Scott McClellan who responds to each and every question by the press with such distain as to be saying, "how dare you question me and your commander-in-chief!" Or to put it in the words of Bill Frist, "This is an affront to me personally." And we could all do without the bold-face lying of Rummy.

In related news, I heard an excellent piece on C-SPAN with ex-president Jimmy Carter. He has written a new book entitled Our Endangered Values : America's Moral Crisis which details in Carter's view, the unpresidented intrution of a moral belief system into governement under the Bush administration. Carter, a devout Baptist, states that although we can be morally bound personally by a code of faith, we nonetheless have an obligation to build "a wall between the church and state," as the founding fathers put it. Carter even cites the biblical passage, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's" as evidence that even Jesus supported this position. The interview with Carter covered a variety of topics from CIA black site torture practices (Cheney deserves to rot for his attrocities) and grave endangerment of the envirnoment, to Carter's future plans and past accomplishments. But the essense of the interview, and the book, is that Bush has not only encouraged the merging of chruch and state, but has allowed his warped belief system to make radical, long-term changes (such as in fiscal policy and advocacy of torture) that themselves seem inherently immoral to outsiders.

My outright hatred of Bush grows stronger every day. Yes, young jedi, use your anger. It only makes you stronger. It draws you closer to the Dark Side.

Buck Fush

2005-11-02T22:06:00.000-06:00

As another week unfolds, we continue to hear of the great transgressions uncovered of late concerning the Bush administration. I try to mix up my auditory stimulations at work between music, NPR and C-SPAN. Intern-girl says she views the media as being too powerful. (What?! Excuse me?) What, do I ask to myself, would she have done in this time when any realist knows the investigatory capabilities of reporters are being ever eroded? The fact is, she, like many Americans, proport to have an understanding of the current situations, but ultimately just fill the air with meritless responses and continue the apathy that has gotten us to this stage. She says you can't be clear what they are reporting, whether it is true or not, and so therefore she prefers ignorance. I told her, "I have one word for you, C-SPAN." Now, I know that it's not for everyone. Most people think of it as an unmanned camera in the press gallery of the Senate chamber, eternally broadcasting roll calls and points of order. This might have been the case in the past, but it is actually becoming an increadably useful, and accessible, avenue of information. I listened today as our Republican hero John McCain investigated allogations of Indian Gambling bribes to the former Bush administration Deputy Secretary of the Interior. This, I could see, might be boring to some. But hey, its better than "pop rock."

Then, from time to time, you get a real gem: I heard an hour-long presentation by former Ambassador Joe Wilson. As you recall, it was Mr. Wilson's public scepticism of the Bush administration that led to the now imfamous leak by top White House staff of his wife's identity as a CIA agent. This in turn, led to a two-year investigation which brought into concern the role of the Special Prosecutor in obtaining testimony from the Media and the revelation of their confidential sources. We also have the recent resignation of Scooter Libby, the Vice President's second in command as well as an unnamed 'Official A' reported by the commission which many believe is none other than Satan-incarnate himself, Carl Rove.

So in this great presentation on C-SPAN, Mr. Wilson discussed not only his immense qualifications and great knowledge of affairs in Niger, but also the exact events which led up to the investigation of his wife's compromised identity. In all his citing of facts, validations, and opinion, he remained resolute in one theme: He never contested the fact that Bush advocated arms control of Saddam, he contested the obession of the administration on Regime Change. And the very reason why such action was sanctioned by the Congress. Congress agreed to give Bush the right to go to war due to sixteen words spoken in the State of the Union address of 1993. These words accussed Saddam of purchasing large quantities of Yellow Cake Uranium from Niger, in an attempt to rebuild his nuclear arsenal.

Now, Joe Wilson would have reason to dispute this claim. Earlier in the same year, the Office of the Vice President asked the CIA to look into report of such action in Niger. In accordance with this request, the CIA assembled an investigation panel, which included Mr. Wilson. Wilson was asked to join this group because of his 15+ years of direct experience with the leadership and political climate of Niger. While living there, and speaking French fluently, he was instrumental in assisting the then military dictator in transitioning his government into a democratically-elected civilian government. He went again to Niger at the bequest of the CIA and investigated these new allogations. He found absolutely no proof of such a transaction between the ore mines of Niger and Saddam. Not only would such a quantity, as declared by Bush took place, have resulted in a 40% increase in production (resulting in noticeable results such as an increase in labor force, transportation, extracting machines, and storage) but there would have had to be approval, with subsequent signed documents, by the Minister of Mines, the Minister of Foreign Affairs (since it was a transaction with another country) and the Prime Minister himself of Niger. Not one record of extra workers, equipments or labor was found and no supporting documents within the governement records nor elsewhere were found. Mr. Wilson submitted these findings to the CIA panel. As well, a former four-star general knowledgeable of the region and a woman with more recent contacts within the Niger government submitted similiar findings. This report of delivered to Chaney well in advance of the State of the Union address.

Why then did Bush make the claim that Saddam had purchaed such quantities, when his own administration had a thorough report from the CIA detailing the fact that no such thing took place? To be specific, Bush stated "The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." This was the central question Joe Wilson was asking when he wrote a July 6, 2003 article in The New York Times. Because of this open criticism of the administration, his wife, Valerie Plame, was ultimately compromised. A special prosecutor was appointed and two years later, we have charges of obstruction and purgury issued. Just two days ago, the Democratic leadership invoked House Rule 21 to force Congress into a closed session discussion about the true nature of Bush's assertions. Of course, Republicans are calling it a "needless destraction." Is it? We have now passed the 2000 mark in the number of American deaths in Iraq. It is estimated, however records are not available, that the Iraqi death toll is ten times that of American casualties.

As I walked out of my office today to get lunch, I was witness to a medium-sized protest march calling for an accountability of Bush for his transgressions. It not only remindedme of the truth of this administration, but also a great KEXP-rotated song which goes:

When the president talks to god,
Does he ask to rape our women's rights?
Or which young farm boys should be sent to die
To uphold a never ending lie?
When the president talks to god.

when the president talks to god,
do they discuss which countries to invade?
which muslim souls that should be saved?
no, i guess he calls a spade a spade
when the president talks to god.

Hey, I think a bumper sticker I saw has it right: "Buck Fush"

A Bacchus Weekend

2005-10-30T23:41:00.000-06:00

There will probably be a more lengthy entry later. As for now, I am combating a mild hangover by drinking several glasses of wine. This weekend has been pretty short on the whole, due to the fact that I slept about 11 hours both Friday and Saturday night, and then the huge party I went to with Amber and her friends made me completely lathargic today. But I think I did make up for my transgressions by finally getting my darkroom up and running. It is in the abandoned bathroom in the basement. Besides the fact that the door opens into it and it is already extremely small, it will work out fine. I probably need to build some real counters for it and mount the safelight higher. Also, the outlet in the room doesn't work, so I have a power cord coming in from another room. That's due to the landlord's home wiring skills. The prints I developed were from the Tacoma Museum of Glass. Unfortunetly, it was really overcast the day we visited, so my prints lack good contrast. It was good to be in the darkroom again, though. In closing, always remember, "you don't do heavy metal in Dubly, you know."

Always an Adventure

2005-10-21T22:24:00.000-05:00

The bus ride and sometimes the walk home provides me with an endless source of voyeuristic entertainment. This week had its share of crazies. The alternate version of Jeff Foxworthy as he attempted to pick up the woman entering the bus via the chair lift due to a broken lower spine disk, claiming the he "wasn't missing an ace, but definitely a duce." I couldn't have agreed more. The strung-out guy and his girlfriend as he discussed how "his father had one rule, when you turned 18, you either got a job or went to school, but you got the hell out of his house, because he had already raised five kids already and he wasn't about to waste anymore time on them." The group of family or friends that discussed their grandma, how she raised them, publicly humiliated them, and "spit in that fuckin' teacher's face back in seventh grade. Yeah, she went to jail for a while." The conservatively dressed Etheopean women who were anything but as they switched between Etheopean and English, saying "I told him I'd kick is motherfuckin' ass." The redneck who told the story about how "his first wife found him passed out in a pool of blood after a heavy night of drinking. My friend and I had gone to poker night. I had about 12 Colt 45's there. Then we went to the after-hours club. In Florida, you can BYOB to a club and so I had a bottle of Vodka and my friend had a bottle of Jack Daniels. Well, about 5:00 AM, I had finished mine and [my friend] still had half a bottle left, so I finished his and still drove everybody home. Turns out I had a ruptured liver." Or the guy on the walk home that asked, "Hey, is your name Leroy?"

Yeah, I'm Leroy, Leroy McGuire.

Warp Week

2005-10-14T22:45:00.000-05:00

It seems that this will be another week-in-review. I have been entirely too busy sucking from the joys of living to be writing stodgy comments on my blog. But, alas, I must keep my perpetually silent audience satiated. I have been told by many sources that my blog is well-recieved and admired. It is interesting to hear such things, as I am not able to assertain the extent of my readership or enthusiasm from such in the comment-less void that "obfuscation askewed" has recently endured. Oh well, "How accidental our existances are, really, and how full of influence by circumstance" as Uncle Lou says.

Let's see, one of the coolest things I did this last week was visit the Henry Art Museum. It is the campus museum at the University of Washington, or "U-Dub." It makes Arkansas' now-defunk University Museum allocated in old gym space look pathetic. The reason I went to the Henry was to see an exhibit by Lead Pencil Studio called Minus Space. It highlighted the architect-couples interest in negative space-relationships. The space was organized half around their own work, and then they also currated a collection of the museum's work in a field of rear-facing paintings and photographs entitled "150 Works of the Henry." The greatest part of the Henry is the recently completed James Turrell SkySpace. So simple in its presentation, it must have been hell to accomplish. Any guy who sits in a completely dark sound-isolation chamber for 12 hours just so he can immerge to truly experience the sights and sounds of life must be in tune with the elemental forces of the earth.

The "Crazy Bus Lady" was waiting at my after-work bus stop so I had to talk to her going home! Now, no part of the ride is safe!

Basically, this whole week I went into a time warp and have emerged at the start of the weekend. I began building a physical model at work on Tuesday and just completed it today. That means, I did NO AutoCAD all week. That alone is cause for celebration. I kept thinking the partners were going to pull me off my own self-initiated project to do "more important work," but they never did. I guess I make my own rules now! Ha. I even ended the work week by hooking the iPod up to the firm's stereo and blasted Yonder Mountain! They seemed to enjoy it for the most part. I was a little on edge when I realized that they were starting to play "Holdin'" with the lyrics, "We'll find someone who's holdin', get down and start rollin', and smoke what their holdin' instead." The head partner was trying to advise the model-builder over all of this!

I went to The Sitting Room last night in Lower Queen Anne and meet up will the Fayetteville croud. Damn, there's a lot of us here! There was five of us at one table. We were welcoming a new arrival from The Natural State to Eden. He works in a biology testing lab, so he was able to offset the large architecture contengency.

"If there is anything I can do for you, or specifically, to you, just let me know."
"Can you drive a nail through this board with your penis?"
"No"
"Well, a girl has to have her standards."

-Thank goodness for KEXP!!

Good Time Fiddlin' and other Happenings

2005-10-10T00:32:00.000-05:00

Now that I have a moment to blog, I would like to catch you up on the events of the past few weeks. It has seemed to fly by pretty quickly, and so I am remise if I didn't fill you in after my shamefull absence. Probably the most important event was this last Thursday, when I was a part of one of the most amazing jamband experiences ever. As you might have guessed, it was brought to us Seattlites by a little band known as Yonder Mountain String Band!! How appropriate that I would make my entrance onto the jamband scene by hearing my favorite band! The evening opened with about a dozen songs by the group Open Road. They were an accustic only, one mic bluegrass quintuplet. Madolin, Violin, Base, Banjo and Guitar. They were pretty good, all dressed in the same, Bill Monroe-esque outfits. The highlight of their set for me, somewhat sentimentally, was their song entitled, "Bald Knob, Arkansas." Then after a rather lengthy break, made perhaps longer by the fact that I went alone (trust me, there's more to that story, but one must not harbor grudges, especially toward new co-workers). Then it came, the small Bluegrass band from the hills of Colorado who made sweet love to their instruments. This show was the second of their Fall Tour, so they were full of energy and hard-hitting. They played a lot of great older songs that have not been heard on the road for quite some time. They even played "Idaho," which they told us they did not play at the first stop of the Fall Tour. This made the people there very angry, it being in Boise and all. The best part of YMSB's performance was a song where they invited the bass player from Open Road to join them on stage and then the two base players played together, on the same base! Starting out, one would play a little, then hand it off, a sort of Dualing Banjos, if you will. Then they started playing it together, one playing the lower strings, while the other played the upper. It was awesome!! The concert was at The Showbox, which is where most of the jambands play. It is a great space, with Egyptian-like pupyrus leafed columns illuminated in a deep red light framing the room, while several elevated bars wrap the walls. The next concert I would like to attend is the Iron & Wine / Calexico collaboration when they play at The Moore Theatre.

Other than that great musical experience, I have worked, ate, slept, helped the "Crazy Bus Lady" clean the neighborhood bus stop, went to an art exhibit by Lead Pencil Studio at the Henry Art Gallery at UW (which also has a completely amazing SkySpace by Artist James Turrell), walked the roomate's dog several times, and watched Citizen Kane for the first time.

Hopefully I will keep more up to date on the blog, but the way things go around here, I might not. Man, I Love Seattle!!

Cartoon

2005-09-29T20:22:00.000-05:00

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2005-09-28T01:06:00.000-05:00

In the fog, deep within the horizon is an image. It is cloudy and unforseen. I am drawn to it, for I know it is part of me, it calls me home. I approach, but yet it receeeds. Although I grasp for it, I am unable to clush. The space is undefined, there is no certain direction. I turn, but the image goes with my vision. I never loose sight of it, but I know not where it lies. Sometimes I am all together caught up in the anticipation of discovery. I want to know my purpose. I continue to try to go more within myself, to learn my own nature. There doesn't seem to be time for conquering. Every day, I feel the ground is slipping. The evidence, though is culminating. I begin to realize that it is only through art that I will find what I feel. Will I ever feel lke I have advanced? I must carve out passion, I must ready the neccesities for the journey. I must not look back. Forward driven I must go. The past is nothing, it is only an illusion. It is no more real than the future. Just because it is behind me, it does not determine my present. It is only a story as powerful as the memory that shelters it. The things to come have no more substance, vitality. The only essence is now. Art is the truest medium for capturing what life is. It holds Being close and makes it breath. I feel that architecture is a high art, but I am constantly frustrated at its exasperating pace. If the mind is to be unlocked and experienced in an intense moment of conscienciousness, than one must quickly jot it down. One must speak it out loud. This thought now must be given life by being quickly translated. The understanding of one's self comes from the filtering, the rendering of an act. You can not simply know, you must make some actual sign of the thing. For by giving it presence through action, it has life. You can of course just think quietly to yourself, but the act of thinking and then going about your day with that thought in mind, it affects you and produces tangable results. But the mind is an ever changing, ever growing mechanism. It adapts at the micro-second, it has revolutions of blinding quickness. Before one can assess, he is reassesing. A building is an ever-evolving ideal, and even with the messyness of it, with all its "contaminations" by many hands, it is still a great work. But I am speaking personally. Can architecture capture me? How can I find myself through it? It will be many years before it is MY building, and even then, I will be unable to claim it was a product of my mind alone. If you write a song in an hour, it is you. If you take a photograph of your day, it is you. You are involved in the act, from start to finish. You are bound up in it for its entirety. And it is done with a gesture that is basically one-stroked. In one uninterupted act, it is done, for better or worse. I worry I am not producing artifacts of myself. Knowing oneself can only come when new artifacts continually replace old ones. It is not enough to sit idle. I truly believe in the neccessity for creation. I must seek a way to manifest more understanding. I must emerse myself. The world is lonely, no answer comes to the one who only observes. The knowing of oneself is the pursuit. By knowing yourself, you know the world. Reality is ever-shifting, but it can only be by what manifests itself in a tangible way. That it be measurable, physical, or extra-corpral is not required. But it must be made. It must be on its own merit outside the thought itself. The thought gives it life, and then it becomes. After becoming, it lasts only as long as it is beheld. But it is the ACT of making that leads one to grow and increases one's understanding. This is what I must do.

Bush Slashed Funding

2005-09-26T21:59:00.000-05:00

Please review the attached link regarding funding towards Army Corps of Engineers' levee projects in New Orleans. factcheck.org (a highly respected independent fact verification institute) reports that the Bush administration cut, as many of us know, 80% of funding for levee improvement projects starting in 2004. This money was routed directly to the Iraq war. Additionally, while Bush claims that "we could not anticipate a breech in the levees," the Corps had expressed a high probability of hurricane water rising over the levees. That is, while a break in the levee walls was not studied, the Corps had forecast massive flooding and was demanding funding to strengthen walls and improve pumping stations. Tragically, the money for preventing this event was routed to Project Let's Fuck Up Another Country, Too. Now that's a way to KILL two times with one stone! Stupid, fucking Bush. When is the country going to wake up and realize what he's doing?

Here is the link

A Crazy Day

2005-09-19T23:08:00.000-05:00

I got my hair cut today at a ritzy-ass "gentleman's barbershop." I think my haircut turned out OK, but the girl that cut my hair was a little crazy. After she asked me, "What do you want to do when you grow up," she got to the pivotal question of the visit: "Where are you from?" Now after responding, "Arkansas," I can imagine a few typical reactions. Needless, to say, it usually doesn't involve how much they love or respect it. But the usual Clinton or Ya'll read down ther' comments I'm prepared for. But I did not see this one coming. She starts hard-core bashing Arkansas and telling me of her hatred of the place, a place she's never been. Then we get to the real issue. She has, for some unknown reason, immersed herself in every available fact about the "West Memphis Three." I never really knew too much about it, besides that these three kids went to jail for a crime they might not have committed. This thinks to the less-than-spotless legal system in Eastern Arkansas. You can imagine...

Anyway, she goes on, and on, and on about it the entire time she's cutting my hair. She tells me I have to rent the two HBO movies about it, read the full-length book, and visit the website (www.wm3.org). It was very bizzare. I really like the place and the haircut, but damn, she was just weird. Luckily she did some improving towards the end when we bashed Bush for about ten minutes. Oh well, nutty people are alright, in small doses. I'm supposed to come back in a month... we'll see.

Speaking of crazy people, did I mention I ride the crack-head bus to and from work every day. The bus stops at the three major Seattle hospitals on Pill Hill and so, there are always a few "interesting" types along for the ride. Today, there was a guy talking about his two brothers who went to Vietnam during the Reagan Administration (check your dates, buddy) and of course, the really loud girl telling us all about her life and how much she loves Tupac. I guess that's better than the woman who walks down 3rd Avenue yelling, "Fuck you, bitch" and other colorful phrases. All in all, an interesting afternoon in the city!

L-7

2005-09-14T20:28:00.000-05:00

Should I be concerned that a black woman called me an "L-7?" I walked past her, and then she says, "Did you hear me, L-7?" I replied that I didn't know what it was and she told me it was "a square." Upon further research:

Square, dorkish type male

Oh well, I guess not everyone can be buck-toothed and ugly like her.

Seattle's Best

2005-09-12T00:13:00.000-05:00

Today I ventured out to find Seattle's best breakfast restaurant. A quick search of the internet brought up the Seattle Times Best of Seattle Restaurants review. Under "Best Breakfast" was #1: IHOP and #2: Denny's. OK, I know IHOP has a really good breakfast, I happen to be a strong devotee. But what I was after today was a real mess of breakfast. Luckily, I scrolled down further and found the "Best Greasy Spoon" category. Now this is what I came for! They told me the best place was Beth's Cafe in Green Lake (neighborhood of Seattle). So I headed there, and after a few tries at trying to get to the back parking lot, I was there. (I missed the turn and then suddenly the road turned into a no-turn-offs highway for miles, taking me all the way back downtown.)

The review at the Seattle Times basicaly said, "Don't go here unless you don't mind sitting next to stoners on one side and a biker on the other." Excellent, this was my place. I walked in and first impressions were high. I sat on a stool at the bar and surveyed my surroundings. The place was filled mostly with Goth-type Anarchists. OK, so I don't know what offical moniker they go by, probably that's the point. The walls were completely covered with letter-sized sheets of paper with all manner of cartoons, zeroxed photos and crudely-written quotes. One said, "Fat Asses Unite. We will f*#$ you up like a piece of chocolate cake." Yes, they did censor themselves. Another offered the definitions of Facist and Facism. Still another had a picture of Native American warriors with the caption, "Homeland Security: Fighting Against Terrorism since 1492."

What I ordered was the "Country Benedict." It begins by covering the entire plate with a bed of golden hashbrowns. Then a buscuit is split open and applied on top. After this, comes two sausage patties (one for each buscuit half) and a six-egg scramble. This is all covered with a generous layer of sausage gravy! It was excellent. How do I know that it was a winner? My stomach started hurting before the bill was paid. Now that's good cookin'. I will definitely have to return. The next thing to try is the "Six-Dollar Milkshake." Perhaps an homage to Pulp Fiction (in that case, kudos), it is a chocolate milkshake with brownies mixed into it. The best part is they are Open 24 Hours and serve breakfast continually.

Finally Home

2005-09-05T10:18:00.000-05:00

We left the hotel yesterday morning and hit the road. From Pendelton, it was a six hour drive to Seattle across a mostly barren landscape. Arrived in Seattle about 2:00. Of course, crossing the mountains, it rained. A fitting entry into the city for a father convinced that rain is never-ending in Puget Sound. Once downtown, we opened up Microsoft Streets and Maps and navigated our way toward my new home. Directions called for going through the Central District in order to get to destination. Dad having simi-breakdown due to high number of un-mowed lawns and black people. He felt we would be murdered and was not happy when I said, "we're close." Mr. Suburban not taking well to mixed neighborhood that surrounds my house. I tell him, it's a transistional neighborhood, which he takes for "liberalese." I point out that although there are questionable houses below, behind my house, there are two houses being renovated very nicely and a property down the street recently sold for 1.5 million. He's still catching on to the concept of diversity. I tell him its a good thing.

....He wakes me up in the middle of the night to make sure deadbolts are latched. Is there any hope for him?

At Last?

2005-09-03T22:45:00.000-05:00

I am now, thankfully, nearing the end. This is the last day of the trip from hell. How did this day go? Well, it was, in the spirit of the journey, horrible. In fact, today will prove to be the worst day of them all. Good thing this week didn't let me down easy! We start the day by going to a great little country restaurant which proves to be an enjoyable experience. I always love going to greasy spoons. They have so much character, and its the one place you can get food that most closely resembles southern cooking outside of the south. So we get in there, and as usual, my father starts complaining because after waiting a whole five minutes, we haven't been given menus and served water. So he says, "this was a bad choice, let's go." Just as he goes to get up, the waitress comes over and is extremely pleasant and gives us our "essentials." Then we have to wait about twenty minutes for our food. This entire time, my Dad is lecturing me on the fundamentals of customer service and how it doesn't take twenty minutes to fry some eggs and make toast. I'm like, "chill out, who cares?" The food turns out to be awesome, and the "scone" that I order was more like a mini funnel cake! Yummy!

Then we get on the road for our "hard day of driving" as he puts it. That passes pretty much without incident, except for him calling my Mom every five minutes when she failes to answer her phone the first time. I told him to just wait and call back in an hour, but no, he calls her four times on her cell phone and four times on the house phone in a span of twenty minutes. He also repeats this around five o'clock.

So we get to the Red Lion Inn in Pendelton, Oregon. Now we can relax. Ha, not a chance. As we came down from the mountain, a large neon sign informs us that we should turn off to go to the Wildhorse Casino. So, after checking in to the room, he says, "let's go to that casino." I point blankly refused to go, which he took as an insult and dished out another lecture. We drive to the casino, park, and get a ride in on one of those airport shuttle buses. ($2.00 tip). By the way, my Dad says if for nothing else, casinos have really good food for low prices to keep you in the casino. We then wander around a crowded room of roulette, poker, and hundreds of slot machines. We spot the restaurant in the back and navigate our way around the plethera of canes, walkers, and wheelchair-bound, fanny-pack-wearing-seniors. We get a seat in the restaurant next to a group of 90 year old women and a couple booths of rednecks, and order. I order the Country Fried Steak. That's warning sign number one that the food will suck. If its called Country Fried Steak, its going to suck. It should properly be called Chicken Fried Steak. And they don't have Dr. Pepper, so I have to drink Pepsi. Yuck! The food turns out to be on par with a meal at Luby's Cafeteria. But in this case, Luby's would have been better, because at least there, you wouldn't have someone walking around the place every five minutes yelling "Play Keno, Play Keno" at your table. The Country Fried Steak is accompanied by Stir Fry Vegetables from the freezer and a bake potato. The meal was so horrible, I couldn't even eat half of it. To top it off, it was $9.95. What a rip off!!!!! Hey, but the "authentic" Indian art on the walls made up for it.

And just as I get ready to go to bed, dear reader, it will please you to know that I will be sleeping with my Dad in the same bed, due to the fact, that there's only one bed in the room!

Random

2005-08-31T19:28:00.000-05:00

JR's in Fayetteville closed! That sucks. I didn't know the place too well. I wasn't in a croud that went there, but after graduating, I enjoyed several evenings there, as it was the only cool place left after the crushing gentrification of Dickson Street. Alas, what will happen to Live Music in Fayetteville?

I'm driving to Seattle, but at the slow and painful speed my Dad enjoys. Currently in Cheyanne, Wyoming. Plan calls for getting to Seattle by Sunday. My father has the front seat nerded out with a GPS System connected to his laptop to track movements and speed, a cell phone for making overly-frequent calls to family, radio dial set to local country stations, while reading Windows Troubleshooting Magazine. Tomorrow's forecast....painful.

It's so nice of Bush to cut his Crawford vacation short to come back to Washington. I know his farm needs him more than the country, so it was generous of him to return. Things will be OK, now that Anderson Cooper is on the scene.

Art Garfunkel was arrested recently near Woodstock, NY on charges of illegal substance possession. After being pulled over for speeding by Highway Patrol near their station, the officer detected marijuana smoke and found a joint in the ashtray. The musician payed a fine and received a ticket. This incident occured almost a year after Garfunkel was originally pulled over by the same Highway Patrol squad for, you guessed it, possession of pot. I was recently listening to Simon and Garfunkel and wondering what ever happened to Simon's partner. It's good to hear he's keeping it real. Go Art!

The Plan

2005-08-28T21:00:00.000-05:00

Here are my plans dear bloggies, and how I plan on getting to Seattle. On this coming Tuesday, before the sun rises, I must get in my car, fully packed, bike hanging from the trunk from newly bought bike rack and drive toward the iconic town of Fayetteville, AR. Will I be stopping to see friends while there? No of course not, Father does not want to waste time with such frivolities. We must be on our way. But I will insist that we stop at the newly renovated Rick's Iron Skillet. I swear, if I turn out to be cool and make a movie like Quintin, I will film a breakfast scene at the Skillet. It's what happens when rednecks get money in their hands. It's so token and yet so neat. So after we break our fast, we will be arriving in Larryville, Kansas thanks to the stupid fucks at Bank of America. You see, when i was leaving Lawrence for good, I went to the bank to close out my safe deposit box. But after waiting an hour, they still hadn't served me and I had to move home. Now, I must return and retreive my stuff. So by leaving at the crack of dawn, we will get to the bank with enough time for me to wait four hours for them to give me service, just in case. Don't worry though, this was the last straw and I have dumped them for good.

We will spend the night in Lawrence at the prestitious EconoLodge. We will probably eat at Freestate Brewery. My Dad loves it, and I have to agree, its awesome. Then, the next day, we drive for a hellish nine hours until we reach Salt Lake, Utah. Now, I'm not saying that it is hellish because of the distance or the time, per se. It's more a matter of being in the car with my Dad for nine hours that scares me. I'm just thankful that we're driving my car, which doesn't have XM Radio. Otherwise, we would be listening to "The '50s on 5" and "On Broadway," the all-show-tunes network. Now he will have to listen to my iPod library or nothing. Haha, revenge is sweet.

Don't ask me why, but we are taking a "break" from driving and spend an entire day and two nights in Salt Lake. For some reason, Dad thinks that Salt Lake is some place I should really "get to know." I will have to tour The Temple and do who-knows-what with him for a whole day.

Then, it's on to Shyanne, Wyoming. OK, I don't know how to spell it, but just sound it out phonetically. That's a night stop. This whole trip will be planned with the help of Priceline. Let's just say those William Shatner ads are definetly hitting their target. From there, its on to arriving in Seattle by Sunday. My Dad will then stay with me until the following Thursday. He will sleep on some couches or something at my house in Seattle. Let's hope he doesn't scare the roomates before I get a chance to know them.

I begin work on Tuesday (Sept. 6). I'm really looking forward to it and hoping it all works out. I'm sure it will. Don't know if I will be able to post from the trip, but I will try to take some pics along the way for sharing later. Here is a pic of the house I will be living in:

The Exciting Life and Times of a Seattlite

2005-08-21T15:58:00.000-05:00

I must admit that on first logging on to my blog after a little absence, I was struck by its darkness and sense of impending doom. Of course, that was the basic state of my character at that moment in time. Man, I was down on my circumstances. The pathetic loner-artist banner, hair flaired to mask my face in the aninimity of depression. Well, I promise, from now on, I will be looking on the brighter side of things. New layout to come soon!

I think most of you know why I am in a blissful mood of late. For those of you who don't, or I haven't been able to get in contact with you, it is this: I have a NEW JOB!!!! And I can't say it was easy. It was more luck and a good bout of timing that ultimately paid off in a jackpot. I always find it hard to go back more than a couple days in writing my blog entries. I find myself tripping over my own words, and the organized, pithy comments I thought were there become semi-incoherent babble. OK, enough you say: out with it or I'm moving on!!

Last week I departed for a weeklong oddessy to the great city of Seattle. I was able to line up two interviews before leaving, but I had hoped for at least a third. I arrived in town and immediately went to meet Kathy, rockstar, at her work. I dropped off my stuff and went for an informal walk through the city. As I casually circumvented its streets, I became aware of the almost accidental, even quant order of the city. The overlapping ambiguities of streets, tunnels, and viaducts. The quick succession of big corporates like Real Networks and Starbucks, intermixed with local shops and housing. It was a thrilling experience. On that order, and a good built commentary on this situation, was my main stop: The Seattle Central Library. Let me tell you, it was all I had hoped for and more! Rem and the OMA crew always exceed my hopes. This, finally, was a validation that his type of architecture can be done in the states, without compromise. It is an increadable weaving of spaces, which lead to unplanned views, cross-sections, and interactions. Its sort of a miniture city of parts all wrapped together. The book spiral and mixing chamber are noteworthy experiences. Sure, the library looks very "temporary," but that's the ephimerality of Koolhaas. I spent many hours over the coming week checking e-mail here and truly enjoying the spaces. It's one of the those few buildings where each experience is a little different from the last. It really touched the Voyeur inside me.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand, me getting a job. Well, first, on Friday, I interviewed with a small firm of Four Partners who do their work in Revit. The interview went great, and it was one of those few places that I really felt "at home." I suspended my judgement, however, and waited to see how the others would go. But sometimes your gut just tells you, "this is the one." Then on Monday, I had two interviews. Now this was something of a surprise, because before I left for Seattle, I only had one lined up for Monday. But while I was checking my e-mail at the library, I got a message from a third firm for an interview. They had found my resume on the AIA Seattle website, and were impressed with my online portfolio. Talk about luck. So on Monday, I began my day taking a two hour bus ride to Bellevue, or the dreaded "East Side." Let me tell you, they make it hard for a Seattlite to get to Bellevue, and there's a reason. The only good thing about the place is its Belle Vue of Seattle. Little Rock has more charm than that place. I ran across several parking lots and office parks to get to the corporate tower of my second interview. The interview was something out of The Apprentice, with me on one side of the table, and five people on the opposite. My reaction to the whole affair was somewhere between "When is this going to be over?" and "RUN! RUN!" Needless to say, I had to cross that off the list immediately. I had hoped that I could take that job if nothing else worked out. At least it would get me to Seattle. But then I realized that it would be just like my old firm in Lawrence (sans the few cool people). I left Lawrence for a reason, and I wasn't about to sign myself up for a second tour of duty.

So after another two hour bus ride back to safe ground, I got dropped off the Metro Bus system on an unfamiliar road in the International District. As an aside, all the mass transiting left me without time for lunch. So I get off the bus and even though Kathy and I had found the third firm by car the night before, I naturally choose the wrong direction and began a thirty minute hike (in black suit and tie) through neighborhoods, down a hillside park, and ended up lost. A quick call to the firm didn't help matters (I was already an hour late for the interview). So finally, I got a cab from the Hop In Market and arrived an hour and a half late. So much for a good First Impression. The Three Ricks Firm (all three partners are named, well you can get it). They didn't seem to mind my getting lost, and I thanked them for their patience. So I showed them my portfolio and we had a really good conversation. Now it is important to note that this interview began with, "Well, lets start with your portfolio." It was only after they knew my skills as a designer that they opened up and became friendly. Kudos to them. This is in sharp contrast to the Bellevue firm, who didn't even ask to see my portfolio!!!! Wow, that place was bad! One of the Ricks then says, "To be honest, we are looking for someone with a year more of experience than you, but we looked at your online portfolio and saw some great work there, so we just had to call you in for an interview." Talk about a confidence booster. I'd pat myelf on the back if I wasn't so self-critical.

Now all I had to do was to sit back and wait for the offers to come rolling in, right? Ha! But the crazy thing is, they did!!! In record time, only being beat out by Wal-mart Architects in Arkansas (which was an immediate offer), I got a call from the Bellevue firm in just under four hours. They said they would love to offer me a position in their Costco Unit as an Architectural Technician (to clarify: Interns are called ATs and 40% of Bellevue's work is for Costco). I told them I'd have to get back to them. Hey, I may have principles, but I still need to play my cards right. Nothing else that day. Then on Tuesday, I called the Four Partners from Friday to "check in." To my amazement, they said, "Well, If you are still interested, we would love to offer you a position." I couldn't believe it! My dream job actually came through, worked out! After destroying half my life begging for that job in KC, I was expecting this trip to end the same way. Surely, the best I could hope for would be a "maybe, but the timing's just not right." But in fact, the timing was right!!!!! Hallalluh, Hallaluh....ok, I'll stop singing church songs in my head. But wow, I'm still blown away and surprised that it all worked out.

________

To make a painfully long blog even longer, I must now tell you about MY FIRM! I apologize for being covert about the actual name of the firm, but as has always been my practice, I think its better to avoid specifics about my employment.

My firm consists of four architect partners, one additional architect, and two interns besides myself. The firm was conceived by four collegues while they were working at the ZGF Partnership, a Portland-based large architectural practice. The leading principle of my firm was at that time the managing principle of the ZGF Seattle office of 100 people. The four left ZGF a year ago and formed my new firm. By retaining a few key clients from the old firm, the new partnership is now able to benifit from the advantages of a small, new firm while maintaining a strong established client base. The firm is located on 3rd Avenue, in the heart of downtown Seattle.

So that's my story and now you know the excitement of my life as of late. If you are reading this sentence, cheers to you for sticking it out. I would have pushed the Back button a long time ago. I don't blame you if you skimmed. Look forward to more sunshine (in Seattle? I mean figuratively, smartass), a more well-rounded blog, and a new layout. I'm in the bigtime now, nothin' gonna keep me down.

Gone to Wal-mart

2005-08-05T21:38:00.000-05:00

Driving through Wynne, you will come across a very odd phenomenon. On the lawns of more than a few houses, mixed in with the lawn art, you will find various signs baring one slogan: "Gone to Wal-mart." My grandmother even has one that she hangs on her door in the carport when she is out shopping. In Wynne, and in many small towns in Arkansas, Wally World has replaced the town square. It is where people go to meet and be seen. Mark told me that his sister would get all dressed up, just to go with her friends there. Its weird that this private institution is now the legitimate forum for public interaction. The citizens of Wynne even complain that their Wal-mart (which was just recently built to replace the 1970s era one) is not as big as the one in Forrest City. Keeping up with the Jones is controlled from Bentonville. All across the Natural State, you see abandoned Wal-mart buildings. It is a blighted landscape. When is Wal-mart going to realize that they are the true maker of Arkansas culture and begin to take on more civically minded urban planning? Just think if they built a Supercenter in forgotten downtown! Once again, the life of the community would spill out on to Main Street and help provide what people want, common gathering spaces.

Not a Wynne-Wynne Situation

2005-08-04T17:00:00.000-05:00

I have continued to help my father with his rebuilding of Front Street. I'm actually starting to settle into the grove and get the hang of it. It's really not that bad. Compared to working at the firm, this job is easy, relaxing, and rewarding. So I would rather be doing this any day than going back to staring at stucco walls.

My weeks coming up will be filled with interviewing. On Monday, I am interviewing at the Wal-mart firm in Rogers, Arkansas. There are several down sides to working there, like its in Rogers and they work on Wal-marts, but there are so many pluses if you look past that. Lots of money, time and a half overtime, free gym membership, flights to the job site on private jets, and CAD monkeys everywhere, so I wouldn't even have to open AutoCAD again.

Then on Wednesday or Thursday, I am flying to Seattle. There I will be interviewing with two firms, maybe three. The first does Costcos, but also a lot of high design. The big problem with them is that its in Bellevue (the burbs). The second firm is a small firm that works in Revit and is right downtown Seattle. That would be great, but they are not actually hiring for sure, they would just like to interview me to "discuss my career goals."

I also got good news from a firm in KC where my mentor works. They said that they really wanted to hire me, but its a matter of projects getting started. They don't know when they will get going, so that's a waiting game. Don't know which track to take, Seattle or take a job at the Wal-mart firm until the KC job comes through. Any thoughts?

Front Street Redux

2005-08-02T16:48:00.000-05:00

Hey my fellow bloggies. Have you been reading along? I sort of feel all of a sudden that my little piece of the blogoshere has started to fall apart a bit. People have sort of let their blogs lax. Now I'm not blaming anyone, because I certainly have been a major culprit in the neglect game. I guess I will just have to be the pillar of strength that keeps my community going.

Well, I'm in Wynne, Arkansas and blogging from the Public Library. Yes, the internet hasn't made it to houses in Eastern Arkansas yet (not my grandma's anyway). I was drug down here by my Dad to help him redo some buidings of his on Front Street. Its the "Main Street" of Wynne, and as most small towns, it is desperately trying to stay alive. The grand stores (like my grandfather's drug store) are now gone and what has replaced it are Homegrown Churches, "Gambling Dens," and Beauty Saloons. My family happens to own about a quarter of Front Street. My Dad is redoing two buildings down here to get them rented. He told me to think of it as a Design/Build project. What that means is, you (me) suggest a design, I'll (my Dad) do it my way, then you can stand there and watch me build it. Can I go home then? No, I need you here to hand me tools.

OK, this post is a little disjuncted. Not my usual pithy commentary. The library is about to close and I just wanted to get a quick post out to keep everyone informed. I'm planning to get to Seattle sometime next week or the week after to interview, of course, my family is doing EVERYTHING in their power to get in my way of realizing this dream. If it were up to them, I would get a job in Memphis or Little Rock, and spend every hour outside work with the family.

Nothingness

2005-07-23T19:50:00.000-05:00

I've done it again. Another day of slothfullness with pathetic attempts to explain myself. I can't really justify just sitting around all day surfing the internet and watching TV. But I guess the real reason I was like this was because I was beginning to feel the sudden sadness that comes with leaving a place. Add to that the almost paniced sense of being alone that I have sort of always felt. Sure, Mark was here living with me, but we never shared much together besides the obligatory meal and crashing after work. I can't help feel that we were both on some other planet, like our lives had been put on hold and we were on permanent vacation from the actual. It seems strange that I lived a whole year here, and yet I don't really have anything to show for it. I don't feel bad that I'm leaving, but I also don't feel happy. I am absolutely opinionless about the whole thing. It's like I could wake up tomorrow in a completely different place and I wouldn't even feel that it happened. All I can look to for accomplishment this year are the few friends I made at work, Yoon, Will, and Billy. They're great guys and I'm going to miss working with them. I'm not going to be missing the work we did, though.

But that's it. Surely, this is a freakish thing. Can anyone else claim that a full year of their life was worth absolutely nothing? It would be one thing if I left this place with anger for having ruined my time, or deep sadness for leaving such a place, this job or friends I may have made. But the fact is, I feel nothing. So why am I sitting here today feeling remorseful? Are my previous statements just for dramatics?

I think, if you can follow this logic, that I feel remorseful BECAUSE I felt nothing in this place. I miss having friends around that share my same interests and ambitions. I miss being a part of something, be that school or a job, where I get a sense of reward or gratification. Certainly my job didn't offer these things. If anything, everyone at work was desperately trying to avoid any hint of passion or emotion. It's crazy how, after 12 full months, I come away from work with nothing, nothing. They neither built up my self-worth and aspirations, nor did they enrage me enough to quit sooner. It's hard to describe, but my firm was completely busy accomplishing nothing. They have all dedicated their lives to just "being." They have never moved forward, nor backward. Any hint of change set off a frantic race to secure the de facto. It's like being in the powerful haze of intoxication. All time stops, and you have very little connection to reality. It was a cult, in the milder sense. It was so pervasive, the ideology of nothing. Like the Wizard of Oz, it was a belief system founded on a deception. When you lift the curtain, as I did, you find a feeble old soul. A central tenant that only survives because those who believe are too complacent to question its existance. It's an existance that lives only for itself. How can you live your life like this, with no passion for anything? There's people there who have not made any measurable change in themselves or their surroundings in a decade! ...because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

This idealogy of complacency leaked over into my private life. Even if you don't believe in the system, it can still affect you because you are on its turf. I made no real contacts in Lawrence, I had no real experiences (outside of attending some great shows), and I did not grow personally or professionally. In a word, I did not Live in this place, I only existed around this place. My job produced this effect in me, but I was not proactive in stopping it. This of course speaks to my character. Maybe I'm like Woody Allan in his portrayal of the Camelan Man? I become whatever my envirnoment tells me to be. This has some to do with my childhood and how I learned the painful lessions of being an individual or conforming. Now that I'm older, I find that conforming is easier. I find that I am uneasy with first impressions, because it seems like you are always defined forever afterwards by that first impression. This is true: I have known for some time now that I avoid first impressions. Its like I want people to look back and NOT remember when they first meet me. This is hard to do, you can only do it by not standing out. In fact, it has made me avoid meeting people at all. Why? How can I be such a people-person and yet shun meeting people? I, like work, just try to exist. Do I live vicariously through others? Yes, I Know I do. My whole coming to Lawrence was probably a mistake in the end. I'm pretty sure it was. I came here in order to avoid living. I came her to continue the life I had made in Fayetteville. I put that onus on Mark and it was unfair. I admit to that now. He knows thats what I did, and I know it. And I found a job that gave me what I wanted. A place that would not challenge who I was nor embrass the things that make me who I am. I was just "being in Lawrence."

I say all this, because I so desperately want to be something. After this year, if there is one thing I know, its that I have to stop Fucking around and start living. Will Seattle be the place where I can start over, make friends, work with passion, make a future? Or will I just go there, or wherever I go, and just wuss out again and just be? What will be the spark that lights my fire? Why do I always lack feelings? I can honestly say that I feel so sadated from this year-long "non-happening" that I have no passion. Internship certainly breaks you down and robes you of the great sense of urgent creativity that you were building up in school. I'm convenced that you just have to force your way through it, work the system to your advantage, and just seek inspiration elsewhere. But where will I turn? To friends? Hobbies? Right now, I have zero. When will I wake up from this haze? When will I feel involved, motivated, intrigued? I desperately fear that my next adventure will turn out as fruitless as this one. I just want to feel connected to something. Will my next journey help me do that?

Or will it leave me with...

lalala

2005-07-20T12:37:00.000-05:00

It's a new record. A sad record, but an accomplishment none the less. Every day when I come into work, I sit down and eat the breakfast I purchase at Wheatfield. Usually it's a cheese danish, as that is a more finger-friendly food. Other days, like today, when I am feeling the ravinous cravings of starvation, I get the cinnimon roll. Very sticky, but much more satisfying. I take pleasure in smearing the icing and crumbs all over the company keyboard. After eating, I start working in earnest and thing seem to be going great as I lift myself, reluctantly, out of the haze of sleep. Then it happens. All of a sudden with no warning....

I found out a reason for me
I found out a reason to be
A reason to start over new
And that reason is you...and the reason is you...
and the reason is you...and the reason is you...

YES! The dreaded intercom music. Usually they turn it on at about 9:00. But today, we made it all the way till lunch!!! All of a sudden it falls down upon your ears like a rock being dragged across metal or the shrill of a baby's unceasing cry in quit places. Just like the huge satalitte that comes out of Cartman's ass, I imagine the speaker opening up to reveal an enourmous mechanical arm of drilling instruments. It comes down and begins drilling into my head, labotimizing me and turning me, unwittingly into a corporate shill. I can't say it puts me in a vegitative state, as is probably the intent of the firm. Or more likely, they think it will "make people happy." For me, though, I know what good music is, and it irritates the living hell out of me.

It's not even that the music sucks, which it most certainly does. Not even music - conveniently wrapped 3-minute corporate ditties. The worst part is that they play the same stupid shit over, and over, and over, and over. I haven't heard a new song at work in a month or more. The rotation cycle is about two hours, and then you hear it again..."and the reason is you..."

Unfortunetly, I must report that it has gotten to me. I find myself, humming, or even singing the songs I so much want to forget when I go home. I really am being brainwashed by the propoganda. Add to the music the sophomoric rantings of a couple two-celled DJs, and you have that wonderful invention known as the afternoon drive-home show. Is there anything more pathetic than a washed-up, dropped-out 30 year old man with a mic? Always accompanied by a middle-aged desperate woman who probably still lives with her Mom, or alone with her cats, and you have a radio duo! I am convinced that DJs are the most unproductive and useless members of society (apologies to ChesterP).

..And if I hear Dave Fucking Matthews one more time before the commercial break, I'm going to "snuff it" and have it over with.

The Silence is Broken

2005-07-15T17:28:00.000-05:00

Well, folks, I did it. I turned in my two-week resignation notice today at my firm. I will continue to work there until Friday, July 29th. It was a hard decision to make, as I am leaving many good people. But as with any big decision, it is never easy. After the two weeks are up, I am moving back to the Big LR to live with the fam. Of course, you can imagine how that arrangement went with the parents: "Hello Mom and Dad, I'm quitting my job without having a new one lined up to live at home with you." But after many weeks of pondering, discussion, and praying I made the decision and my parents are supportive. The main impetus I had to quit at this time was the fact that my house lease ends August 1. I (and Mark) had thought it went to September, but we were sadly mistaken. I figured being homeless was a good enough reason to go ahead and leave.

Mark has found a job at the 15th largest design firm in the US. He will be in their Washington D.C. office. He is moving up there this coming Monday, and starts work the following Monday. I only hope my job search will go as well as his. He had been working on it longer than me, and I wish him the best of luck. I currently have sent my resume to 55 firms nationally. Twenty of them are in the top forty largest design firms. Can you tell I've got my eye on a large firm. To my figuring, I should get a job in a big company. i have always worked for small (barely middle-sized) firms, and its time I tried a biggy. I want to have as much experience under my belt as I can by the time I get licensed and start my own firm. A large firm will also have a better internship system in place. One which will offer seminars, goal attainment, and more interaction with interns like myself. Also, working in a large firm with several national offices affords me the chance to transfer to a new city in a couple years without the hassle of finding new employment.

All this being said, I lament the friends I will leave behind in Lawrence, both at my job and at church, but I look forward to new adventures. I don't regret coming to Lawrence and working at my firm, but I would regret if I stayed any longer. Everything has its shelf-life.

2005-06-29T23:30:00.000-05:00

Roommates

A pessimistic view of things (for now)

2005-06-21T18:51:00.000-05:00

Doesn't it seem that we interns are screwed by the very system responsible for our definition? When we graduate with a degree in Architecture and enter the profession, we are placed in a program which is intended to develop our skills within the career and create a familiarity with the other various buiding trades. However, at this time, there exists only a system which judges completion of the program by evaluating quanity, not quality. When I work, my hours each week, they are logged on a spreadsheet and added. A supervisor and mentor's signature are required to validate how long "I sat in front of AutoCAD." This means that the program can only be successful if you have an environment of mentorship. The profession can not survive, weakened as it has now become, if it does not properly train its younger collegues.

If it wasn't hard enough to find co-workers willing to help a lending hand, you might in that circumstance begin to teach Yourself the art and business of creating works of architecture. Unfortunatly, the miserable shortage in this country of clients willing to invest in true works of architecture creates within the profession a spiraling rush for the top to grab the few commissions available. Why do the first most critical years of the professional life actively move to kill your very passion and deprive you of the food you crave, that is, design?

Livin' the Apple Life

2005-06-04T11:52:00.000-05:00

I have done it! I have made the switch to the Mac platform and I don't think there is any turning back. On Memorial Day, with conviction, I drove in to Kansas City and went to the Country Club Plaza Apple Store. Of course, it being a holiday, I got to the door just as they were locking it at 6 PM. Luckily the guy could see I meant buisiness. He said, "We are closing, but do you know what you want?" I proceeded to get everything assembled in ten minutes and check out. That is, an Apple iBook G4 with 14" display and Combo Drive, plus an Airport Express for wireless bliss.

I can understand why it is the industry standard for designers and graphics professionals. It just has so much intuitiveness built into it and the interface is polished and refined. And that's just speaking of the software. This sophistication is the hands-down winner when it comes to the hardware and its "packaging." I was raised by a PC-or-die Dad, which is suprising when you consider that he was a Computer Science Major in college and his first personal computer was the Apple II. But times change, and so making the switch was quite an effort. The two biggest disadvantages will be (1) all my free programs that I had obtained from school (ah college, the marketplace for the free exchange of ideas and software) will not work, and (2) I won't get free hand-me-down stuff from my Dad anymore. But you know what? It's so worth the change!!

One website proclaims, "Unlike any OS X before it or any competing desktop OS, Mac OS X 10.4 (Tiger) sends users’ productivity skyrocketing before one manual is opened or one application is purchased, thanks to stellar new search and workflow tools." This is evidenced by the fact that I am now typing this blog from the bashboard of my Mac without having to log into Blogger. Now, if I can only find Photoshop for Mac!!

I suppose it was the iPod that really planted the seeds of desire for a complete Mac life ("iLife?," to cliche probably). I thought if a company could make something as beautiful, powerful, and essential as that, then their laptops must be kickass. I guess now I should have gotten that Christmas present after all, my profile silloutted and holding an iPod. And I would have to be dancing to YMSB.

Rolling Kansas

2005-05-05T17:28:00.000-05:00

Here are the two best photographs from my two hours of taking pictures this weekend. Lawrence, as you can imagine, is only minutes from the rolling plains of Kansas farmland. The first picture reminds me of the picture the Private Eye is instructed to show Bunny Lebowski in our favorite movie. "It's supposed to make her homesick." Jenna, notice the Spartan neatly placed in the shade of the only remaining tree on the field? I've always been stuck by the brutal honesty, maybe call it utilitarianism, of rural architecture. Always original, it is designed to meet the needs of its use while still making an impression on the landscape. I think the central advantage to these structures is their lack of contrivance. They are what they are. Why do we feel compelled to force monumentality in our profession today, and thus produce stylized pieces of crap? Our buildings seek a presence by alluding to an irrelevant past. They wish to be more than they are, and by doing so, negate their own intrinsic nature. Gretta would remind us that there are many forms of the monumental, but somehow I doubt these old barns and silos remain monumental due to the fact of their age alone. I think ultimately it is their sincerity that wins our hearts.

Rockhill on Studio 804

2005-03-24T10:35:00.000-06:00

"I agree. The reason I started Studio 804 was to give students a bit of building experience so that they could get a little wind in their sails and see what it takes to do good work. Someday, when they look out that office building window two or three years from now totally disgruntled, they're going to say, 'Dammit, I'm going to take charge and make something happen myself.'"

- Dwell Magazine, April/May 2005

sam-iv.com & a word about Professional Development

2005-03-14T18:09:00.000-06:00

Well bloggies, I have registered my own domain name, sam-iv.com. In the coming month I will be spending my time building a kickass portfolio website. It will contain my school portfolio, resume, etc.

Sorry about not being my chatty self on the blog lately. I don't know if it's a lack of time to commit or a lack of things to say. In a word, Sam is speechless. In fact, most of my coworkers would paint me as "the silent type." Again, amazing, right? My biggest criticism from Boss Woman during my Employee Review was to be less TIMID in my interactions with others.

I have started to become more introspective. I guess I'm seeing the merit of mauling things over privately before interjecting them into the world. Lately I've been doing a LOT of thinking about my career and where it's headed. That's the kind of stuff that others can't really help you with. Sure, I still have a problem with obsessing over things, many times to the detriment of others concerns. However, this time it really is about important matters.

Its weird how when you graduate and finally arrive in the Real World, suddenly you fell the weight of the Future. I've started thinking about making choices NOW that will put me a position to be where I want to be in the FUTURE. The only two things I know for certain right now are:

1. I plan to own my own architecture firm in ten years or less, either solely or with others.
2. My current job will not get me there (see #1).

Every day I feel anxious about the future. When I say "anxious," I am invoking both of its meaings, "ardently or earnestly wishing," and "extreme uneasiness of mind." That is not to say that I am scared or overly-worried, because I know everything will work out. I do, though, constantly ponder the where, what and how of the "next step," or as I like to put it, "The Great Escape." September is the magic date. The only given: Moving On!

Wisdom from Ramblin' Men

2005-03-10T11:41:00.000-06:00

Maybe some day the road I ride / Won't seem so long to me inside /
And the path I take / will be a rocky one, /
But it's mine / And mine alone. /

-- Yonder Mountain String Band

Scary Monkey

2005-03-09T10:32:00.000-06:00

Here's a really terrifying image of an abandoned stuffed monkey. I found it in an old display cabinet (along with mice and birds) in the Science Building of the College at which my firm is Campus Architect. The "Site Visit" images below are from the same building. It was built in the 1960s and has some very interesting details.

Site Visit Photos

2005-03-04T20:41:00.001-06:00

Columns, Not Just For Porches Anymore!

2005-03-03T13:24:00.000-06:00

The Rockhill Estate

2005-02-22T17:59:00.000-06:00

This weekend I went out to Rockhill's "estate" to take photos and have a general look around. The compound is comprised of the main house, which is a Sears-Roebuck house from around the turn of the last century, a large wood barn with lofts, a secondary aluminum clad barn, and the metal shop with its extending row of covered parking stalls. Additional parking stalls were built by Mark and others with concrete panels for the rear walls and fabricated wood trusses on telephone pole supports. Mark was responsible for designing the roof trusses. They also built a fenced in corral for the horses. One side is the large barn and concrete block silo, the second side is rough concrete panel with gate and the remaining sides are steel rail fences. In the distance you see the Wedding Chapel instilation which was designed for Rockhill's daughter.

The metal shop itself is a bay system utilizing recycled building materials including the trusses, warehouse casement windows, and doors. An unkept darkroom and magazine library are ancillary spaces. Almost all of the metal elements designed for each house are fabricated here, from vanity stations to roofdecks. It is definitely an inspiring work environment reminisent of the Eames Studio. At every glance there are unintensional "visual compositions." The sort of arrangements that can only come about from the disjunctured order of a creative mind. Here is a photo of a typical bay in the shop:

One of the main reasons that I went out there was to get some "action shots" of Mark for his portfolio. Here is the winning shot of the many tries:

Greek Life, The Other Side of Campus

2005-02-10T18:46:00.000-06:00

I started work today on my first Greek Life project. It is a Fraternity House in Florida. The way Greek Life runs in my office, there is no room for design. There is a set package of parts. There are ten suite / dorm room types that the client picks, plus living rooms, dining, etc. These are all in a pre-prepared booklet with standard floor plans. All we do once the client picks the type and number of each room they want, we just move them around until they work in plan.

Now everybody knows that Greek Housing = Classical Architecture. So there are standard windows, doors, Doric columns and porches that are used in each project. Add friezes to the roofline, add a pergula, and you have yourself some elevations. Wow, you're already through schematic design and it's only been three days. Take a couple weeks to do the Construction Documents and you're done! Next Frat House, please.

My biggest challenge now is learning the Greek Alphabet and how to draw and pronounce them all.

[If you had given up on me and the blog, please check the entry below this one for more details]

Tonight Only! The triumphant return...

2005-02-09T21:32:00.000-06:00

Hello, ello my little bloggies, it is I, your humble narrator. I have returned from a bit of a stent from the blog community. I was prompted into hasty action by the loyal readers of this text. Not so vague notes such as "update your blog!" alerted me to the fact that it had been some time since my last entry. So I felt guilty and had to report for duty.

To start, I went to a kickass bluegrass show staring the best band ever to come "from the foothills of Colorado:" Yonder Mountain String Band. What happens when you take the most amazing band and put them on one of the best stages in America (Liberty Hall)? You get one of the best shows of the year. The best part was that they not only played old favorites, but had a good number of brand new tunes never before heard. It was a great time. All you guys in Fayetteville who didn't go check them out that following week should be slapped!

The second item of business to cover is my association with one Raquel. We had a delightful visit at the coffee shop in Liberty Hall right before the YMSB concert. Our next meeting was to be dinner at her place. Those plans were blocked for many days due to conflicts in schedule. We were able to realize those plans this past Sunday after my return from down South. The dinner was simple, but the company was grand. It looks like Sam the man will be seeing more of this girl.

It has been fairly slow as of late in the ole office. Some of the major projects of the firm have been put on hold by the client and so now I must become like a rat, scavaging for tasks. I also have the great joy of my upcoming Employee Review Meeting. I have to fill out a questionare and bring it with me for discussion. Questions include:

1. What are your short term goals in life?
2. What are your long term goals in life?
3. What do you dislike most about this firm? What would you do differently?

I'm going to answer that last one "To improve employee morale, Resse's Peanut Butter Cups should be provided in the bowl at the front desk, in lieu of Sweetarts and breathmints."

It snowed in Kansas. It was white. I still had to go to work.

I need a futon.

Come with (Fried) Rice

2005-01-26T18:35:00.000-06:00

Horrah! Another great achievement in the Bush presidency. Condie Rice was officially appointed Secretary of State! ...And there was much gnashing of teeth. Two facts to note: She is the first African-American woman to hold a cabinet position, but she also recieved the largest number of 'no' votes for that post since World War II. It was kind of dishearting to see our humble hero JFK sheepishly raise concerns over her nomination. Luckily there was California Senator Barbara Boxer fighting for the cause, showing the only vertabra in the Democrat's backbone!

It's upsurd that our nation's top diplomat to foreign countries is herself the architect of the most controversial decisions of the Bush presidency. The whole reason there are the positions of Secretary of State and National Security Advisor is so that one can do the ass-kissing and the other can do the dirty work. Now those two positions are basically one-in-the-same! How is she going to get allies now? Oh yeah, I forgot, Bush isn't concerned with that whole "lets not go it alone" idea.

If her shady involvement in the political and humanitarian quagmires of the Middle East to get pipeline access for Chevron (she was a Chevron Director from 1991 to 2001, having had a tanker vessel named after herself), was not enough of a damning indictement, I have one phrase for you:

"Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside the United States."
- Title of August 6, 2001 Presidential Daily Briefing

Rice should have gotten Fried at those confirmation hearings!
(Aren't I clever Trinity?)

As I side note, my last three fortune cookies were:

"Nothing gets in the way of your vision of yourself in the future"
"Your worries will vanish if you face them bravely"
"When you gather all your resources together, Goals are accomplished"

A Little Catching Up to Do

2005-01-24T18:35:00.000-06:00

The above image is what I get to go to everyday. So needless to say I was overjoyed to have such an exciting weekend away from work for a change. Here's how the events went down:

I began laying my plans for this weekend as far back as last weekend. That was when I went to a co-worker's "I have a new house" party. It was there that I re-meet a girl named Raquel. She is a fifth year architecture student at KU and is also originally from Brazil (so she speaks Portegese). I asked her to go with me to the upcoming Dan Rockhill exhibit, to which she accepted.

That brings us to this last Friday, 6:00 PM. We meet at her house and then headed off to Kansas City for the premiere of Dan Rockhill: A Modern Kansas Vernacular, or something like that. We rubbed arms with a few people of note, including Peter Pran (not your typical-looking architect, more of the mad scientist). We mainly just enjoyed the free Beulevard Wheat.

After that we went to the Blue Koi, a fashonable Noodle and Dumpling restaurant near KU Medical Center. It was good eatin'. From there we went to a bar near the Convention Center to meet up with Mark / Kelly, Jordan / Gretta, Adam, Matthew, and Brandon. It was great time.

Raquel and I are to go to the movies tomorrow night. ... ..

Our Great Quadranial Celebration

2005-01-20T17:32:00.000-06:00

Hail to the chief indeed! I hope at least one egg gets thrown at the motorcade. It will be hard though. With police standing at arms length and two deep (at a cost of $12 Million to DC residents), that projectile will have to have some torque on it! Let's hope the next four years are as bright as the last [painful sounds of ironic moaning].

2005-01-15T14:48:00.000-06:00

The Amazing Life of Intern Sam

Cheers to JR's

2005-01-13T22:22:00.000-06:00

The one thing I really miss about Fayetteville is JR's. This is weird, because I never went to JR's Lightbulb Club during school. And after I graduated, I've only been there twice. But from everything I hear, it's just like Cheers, "where everybody knows your name." I need to find a place like that in Larryville.

Sociology 4005, Section A: The Mind of Sam

2005-01-13T18:16:00.000-06:00

I have just three words for you: fleece-lined pants. I didn't know it could feel so good. It's like a coat for your legs. So warm and cozy.

It's so hard to get out of town these days. I have amassed just enough responsibilities to neccessitate my presence on the weekend. Mark and I were planning to go to Fayetteville, possibly catch a Split Lip Rayfield show. Unfortunetly, he just found out he has to work all weekend and I have a party I have to attend. I guess I have the better deal. I also feel kind of guilty going to Fayetteville. It just brings home the reality that I haven't found people to do things with here all the time. I waste a weekend if I don't stay here and continue the arduous task of meeting people. It's weird. I'm a complete contradition. I'm shy to strangers, but overly talkative to people I know. I don't mind being the center of attention as long as I know at least one person in the room. Otherwise, I recede into the background. It comes down to the fact that I am socially timid. It's that 'first empression' that freaks me out. I think it all comes from the fact that I have made a lot of wrong moves growing up on first meetings. I made decisions at the start of a relationship (friends, school, etc.) that screwed me over the rest of the time I was in that situation. I need to work on my social skills. Hell, I've come a long way though. I'm just glad I came to UA. Just think if I'd entered the real world from the University of Dallas!!!

I really want my blog to be light and fluffy. A sort of Seinfeld-ish account of my days. But the fact is, I can't help talking about my deep inner thoughts. Also, I'm really interested in Sociology, and that investigation begins with yourself. Whether other people want to read it is another story. Who knows? I'm just letting it all hang out.

--

I want to buy the following CDs:

Bob Dylan / Blood on the Tracks
Nellie McKay / Get Away From Me
Ralph Randolph, John Medeski, and North Mississippi Allstars / The Word

Ad astra per aspera

2005-01-11T22:30:00.000-06:00

I have my new desk at work and it comes with a phone. Now I'm important! Well, no sooner do I get a phone, then I start getting this really annoying guy calling me all the time. The guy claims that he has drawn my business card from Qdoba, a Mexican place on Mass that should be called 'Tries to be like Chipotle.' Anyway, I've won a free lunch for myself and ten of my co-workers. The catch- We have to listen to him give us a sales pitch for his investment services at American Express. He's left about eight messages over two weeks. I talked to him once, and told him I could try to get some people together, but.... I seriously think the guy is going to call me until I tell him NO. Maybe if he spent as much time investing people's money as he does calling my ass, he might actually have clients. And this whole time I'm thinking, "I never put my card in at Qdoba." Turns out a guy from work put it in for me. At least he didn't call the Army Recruit Office.

Kansas is great. Every morning I get to go outside and clean my windows of ice for fifteen minutes. Today my door wouldn't latch close. After abandoning the idea of holding it closed all the way to work, I spent another ten minutes figuring out how to fix it. And that's not the best part: This weekend it's going to be 2 degrees! I was told to drink Hot Damn! to keep warm.

People in Kansas don't say 'ya'll.' I miss 'ya'll.' But they do all sound like Marlon. They are always saying things like 'to the knat's ass' and 'elbows and assholes.' How many times do you think I've heard, "So, you're from arKANSAS?"

Quick plug - you've got to listen to this radio station: wfuv.org "Did you know that everytime you listen to wfuv, it costs us money?" - I love that woman.

I've been meaning to get a Kansas licence plate, but I've been holding out to come up with a personalized one. I just can't think of one to get. I was thinking about 'SAM IV,' but then that's kind of narcissistic. Then again, I am obsessed with my own name, just look at this blog!

Mark says it's hard to listen to me, because I make no fucking sense.

Sometimes I like to tell a joke that only I get.

One time at band camp....

(Wow, this blog entry has really gone downhill!)

Weekend Happenings

2005-01-09T22:30:00.000-06:00

Wow, I feel really behind. I checked everyone else's blog and they have about five new entries out of the blue. If I want to keep up with Static and Poison, I better get writing. By the way, I think Static's blog name is right on. I feel like I am in a sort of Static Lull just waiting for the other shoe to drop. "Oh woe is me" (ala Split Lip Rayfield).

I went to the Oak Park Mall in Overland Park, Kansas today. I had to get to the J. Crew store and buy my prepy attire for the coming months. It was crazy going to the mall. I felt like I was in a dream world or on another planet. I was with "them." The teeny-boppers and the mini-vaners. I never did find the park.

One of Mark's friends came to Lawrence on Friday night, so we capitalized on the opprotunity by having a mini pub crawl. We hit a good number of bars, one beer in each:

Papa Keno's
Louise's Downtown
Replay Lounge
The Red Lion
Henry's
The Tap Room
Freestate Brewery
The Jackpot Saloon

Needless to say, it was a fun night. There really wasn't anyone out, though. I guess the snow kept them away. The next day was an uphill battle. I managed to get up by noon, but then I had to work out with my partner at the gym and then sing at church! After that, I went out to eat with the choir crowd and the priest. I was so ready to get home that night and go to sleep. Sunday was made right with a Spinish and Potato Rice Bowl from La Perilla. Now I am trying to savor the last remaining hours of the weekend. They tell me it's day and night work this week. I can't wait!

Patterns

2005-01-05T22:16:00.000-06:00

Once this chill blows away and we get into spring, it is going to be nonstop showtime. There is an amazing lineup coming to Lawrence in the next couple of months. Needless to say, Yonder Mountain is the icing on the cake! Mark and I both agree, we are in serious Yonder withdraw. This show couldn't have come at a better time, or a better venue. Here's the list:

Yonder Mountain String Band / Sun., Jan. 30 / Liberty Hall
Sound Tribe Sector 9 / Mon., Feb. 7 / Granada Theatre
moe. / Thurs., Feb. 24 / Liberty Hall
Keller Williams / Tues., March 1 / Liberty Hall
Tishamingo / Sat., March 5 / The Bottleneck

The best concert I have ever been to was the David Grisman show at Liberty. It was magic. Just how you want a performance to be. The musicians given the grand stage they deserve and the crowd having such an intimate connection with them. Grisman was amazing, the music was unbelievable. The best part was it was so laid back. Everybody just having a good time. No line to stand in. Just a town coming together around music.

This morning there was freezing rain and ice. Then in the afternoon, it snowed. Except for the donuts we did in the vacant half of the parking lot at lunch, it was a very quite day. Tonight, when I got home from the gym, I was amazed at the brightness of the night sky. It was luminuous, there was a perfect silence.

The night sets softly
With the hush of falling leaves,
Casting shivering shadows
On the houses through the trees,
And the light from a street lamp
Paints a pattern on my wall,
Like the pieces of a puzzle
Or a child's uneven scrawl.
- Simon and Garfunkel

Uncertainty Amended

2005-01-03T23:02:00.000-06:00

OK, I was 'jumping to conclusions,' as Tom Smykowski would say. Getting ahead of myself. I have had some time at home to clear my mind of the days events. I've gone to the gym and replinished my endorphins.

Who knows where I will be in a year? It might be anywhere, it might be in Lawrence. I just have to keep my eyes open for opprotunities. Things will come to pass, as long as I am receptive.

Note to self: find new topic besides work...

Uncertainty

2005-01-03T18:51:00.000-06:00

I went to Wal-mart yesterday and purchased a USB cable with changeable plugs to fit any camera, cell phone or PDA. The package said "Bag Enclosed for Tips," but the bag wasn't there. I guess you can't trust Wal-mart quality anymore...

Work is slowly sucking my will to live. I guess I am in one of those episodic time periods right now where you question why you are doing what you're doing. If this was an addiction, I would be moving from Phase 1: Denile to Phase 2: Painful Acceptance. I ask myself, "Is this really where I want to be working?" The essential problem is that my firm is steadily moving from a 'familiar' firm to a 'corporate' firm. More rules, more management. Nobody likes that.

Was man meant to sit in a cubicle all day drawing symbolic lines on a page?

I yearn for the city.... to be free. To be that 'voyeur' in which I dreamed. A man who walks the streets and neighborhoods, thus discovering the evolving story of the city. How can a designer create without becoming emersed in the routines of habitation? How can he know his personal intentions for a place without surrendering himself to the collective conscience of that place? How can he design without knowing its peoples, its history? (I didn't mean this to be a plug for 'Critical Regionalism.') Even if you did not translate this knowledge to built works, you would still have the campanionship of memory.

My point being.... How do you design Architecture (capital A) from an 8 by 8 foot cubicle? Of course I'm an intern, what do I expect? Somehow I expect more. If I can't get my stimulation from work, at least I could get it from living in a great city. I am all together gathered up in a feeling of uncertainty. At this moment, I look at Lawrence and the future doesn't look bright. But where to next?

My firm looked so great from the outside. It is a good firm, but I am becoming more convinced that it is not the firm for me. I have a hunch our group at school was trained to want better, to demand more.

False promises. I guess Wal-mart doesn't hold the monopoly on that one.

Obsessive Consumption

2005-01-02T14:28:00.000-06:00

Have you noticed that today a person's identity is more defined by what they consume than by the actions they take? Prominent figures in past times are survived by the heroic deeds they preformed. These memories serve as common lore to instill morals in a society. Have you seen the shift? Now, people are described by what they buy. In a word, we have ceased to be actors in society, we have become consumers. Neatly gathered into a series of variables, we can be quantified against existing trends and given a brand-image. We are the Pepsi Generation, the iPod set, MTV watchers. There are many more monickers given to every group in our nation which in essence is a product-driven ideology. How do we find ourselves describing who we are? Do we tell of the programs in which we have participated? Or do we list the CDs we have, the restaurants we like, and the car we drive? We are defined by what's on the outside, not what's on the inside.

This is best described by Kate Bringaman in her article "Obsessive Consumption," published by / Magazine. A magazine that I highly recommend checking into. As a graphic artist, she wished to undertake a project which could document the type of society in which she found herself living: a society driven by consumserism. For a year, she published a weekly photo diary on her website showing what she had bought. By doing this, she hoped to portray who she was in our marketplace culture. She describes it in this light:

"Through quick glimspes of my [purchased] objects people draw conclusions upon what I must be like as a person... People feel they know me because they know what is on my shopping list. I just stage glimpses. The viewers draw conclusions."

...You know those iPod commercials, where the guy is dancing as a two-tone silouette? My dad almost got me an image in which I would be portrayed holding my iPod in dualtone bliss. Crazy!

Chirstmas Gifts

2004-12-29T09:39:00.000-06:00

I received a variety of presents for the holidays. Probably the best gift was from my brother. He gave me The Family Guy Season 3 DVD Set, Volume 2. There are twenty-one episodes in my pack, which means the whole season would be 42 shows. That's a lot! My whole Season One of The Simpsons might top twenty. Talk about prolific. The third season of FG was the finale one. Its hard to believe a show would be too controversial for the Fox Network! Greedy for money they are, but afraid of controversy they usually aren't. (Remember, this is the same money grubbing corporation which shut down personal Simpsons fan sites on the Internet back in 2000.) But ol' Peter Griffin actually pushed them to the edge. Take that Homer! The scandalous unaired episode which probably got the show canceled is on my DVD. In "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein," Peter befriends a well-to-do man and encourages Brian to convert to the Jewish faith so he too may be successful. I am really going to enjoy watching them. My favorite character is Stewie. "For the love of God, shake me, Shake me like a British nanny!"

I will definitely enjoy the DVDs more than my other big present, "Essential Manners for Men: What to Do, When to Do It, and Why" (To compliment last year's book, "How to Be a Gentleman").

Sorry for the Inconvenience, The Management.

2004-12-22T18:13:00.000-06:00

You know, you learn a lot when you actually start your first real job. A lot of myths are exposed, but just as often, long held stereotypes are re-enforced. The one I must point out is the saying, "Shit rolls downhill." Now if you mean all the shitty jobs that have to be done by someone but are avoided by everyone, then yes, they roll down to the low man on the totem-pole. This person happens to be Me. I don't mind it much, it gives me a chance to show that I can handle anything. Now on the flip side, speaking of people, as in "trash rapped in skin," shit always advances upward. This is true of almost every work environment. The person most ill-equiped to handle the job will always find their way to the top. Sure, I guess it takes hard work. I mean, if someone wasn't there fucking things up everday, creating an environment of choas and anger, the place might be efficient. And if the place was efficient, then middle management would seem unneeded. After all, manangement's only role is to "fix things." They don't actually produce work. The manager's job is to make things better; therfore, the more screwed up the place is, the more their "services" are needed. It's all about job security.

In The Divine Comedy, Dante placed those who practiced usury, that is the lending of money for profit, in the seventh level of Inferno. This profession was very sinful in those days, because it was believed in order to be virtuous, man must produce something as a fruition of his labors. Through labor, one gained humility, by producing, one contributed something tangable and added to the world. I think if he wrote today, office managers would be damned to spend eternity, like usurers, in a place of burning sand, rains of fire and flowing streams of boiling blood.

I find my life is becoming more and more like Office Space. If there was a more prophetic movie out there, I haven't found it. TPS Reports have become a metephor of my existance. Hell, they actually had a girl in my office move her desk to the unheated attic of the building. At least Milton had heat in the basement! And if he didn't, it's still the mild weather of Dallas.

I don't mean to complain so much. OK, you're right, I do. It's just that my psyche is still trying to figure it all out. Why does it have to be this way? You stick your neck out for a better design and you get a two hour bitch-out, you work your ass off week after week, and your boss says "you must not be very efficient if it takes you this long," you work 55 hour weeks without overtime pay only to get told you aren't allowed to take an extra day off for Thanksgiving; but, if you come in at 8:00 and leave at 5:00, avoid all responsibility and kiss ass, then you get more vacation time and no expectations. Wow, it must be great to not care.

"Do it the American way, half-ass it" - Homer J. Simpson

I guess this is enough bemoaning. Just as an AutoCAD drawing needs to be Purged from time to time, so do I. After all, isn't that the whole point of a blog? The good news is: I'm still as cynical as ever!

The First Post

2004-12-21T23:36:00.000-06:00

Well, here it is: my first blog entry. An entry that could potentially define the scope, theme and tone of this blog. Quite a heavy weight to put on one entry. It's like writing an essay for a college class. Where to begin? Should I start with a question? Does the Thesis statement come now, or at the end of the paragraph? Oh, yeah, start general and then go specific. I quess I could start this blog with the same sentence I began all my Lit Trad essays at UD (formally known as "The Center of the Universe"). I always felt the first line was the hardest, so if I just used the same one every time, that got the hardest part out of the way in a breeze:

In any work of poetry or prose, it is important to understand...

The sentence could then be finished with any number of appropriate statements such as, "the author's intent," or "that the unchecked desires of a protagonist can define the lense through which the reader experiences the narrative." Of course, if it was a paper for Ethel, you could just begin it, "Sex, Booze, Concrete."

So now that the blog has begun, let me interest you in the photographs below. This fall, as if feeling a void in my academic life, I enrolled in a Basic Photography class at the Lawrence Arts Center. It was an eight week class in which we learned techniques of camera use, image selection and arrangement, developing negatives, creating prints, and other darkroom techniques. Below are two of the images I developed as a result of this class. The first one (meaning the one at the bottom) is a very early experiment. The second image was made after the class was over. I went back and used the darkroom at the Center to make Christmas presents for my family. I took this picture of the barn on my family's farm in Wynne on my trip back to the Big LR for Thanksgiving. I now want to set up my own darkroom at home in the basement. I think I freaked Mark out when I mixed all my developing chemicals in the kitchen. For some reason, he thought deadly toxins and bread don't belong on the same counter. Enjoy!

2004-12-21T22:33:00.000-06:00

McGuire Family Farm, Wynne, Arkansas

2004-12-21T22:18:00.000-06:00

Dentist's Office, Lawrence, Kansas